Do you remember that camping trip my Dad has been promising to take me on for the past month? The one to mount Moriah? Well, today he finally took me. And I have to preface this by saying that I was completely stoked to go. I mean, things have been rough around here since we kicked out Ishmael and the idea of a vacation just seemed really nice. But this morning as we were packing up to go, he appeared to be very irritable. The entire hike up we didn’t joke, didn’t talk, didn’t even look at each other! So we finally reached the top of the mountain, and he looks like he’s about to cry, so….I ask him if anything is wrong, and with tears in his eyes he yells at me to gather wood. At this point I’m kind of freaking out. Here we are, in the middle of nowhere and he’s completely despondent, just frantically building an altar….and then he tells me to lay down on it. Now I’m legitimately afraid, but I do as he says. He binds my hands—tight. He starts talking to himself, arguing, pacing back and forth with a knife in his hand while I lay there completely subdued and shaking like a leaf. His back and forth becomes more and more frenzied, and in one fluid motion he plunges the blade toward me, and….SURPRISE!!!!! It was a joke!!!! Can you believe that !?!?!?! Oh man! My heart was beating like a million miles a minute! I mean I really thought he was going to kill me!!! The old man really got me good!!! He’s still got it. Anyway, we had a good laugh and he explained that he brought me up there so we could have a good ol’ father and son hunting trip together. Luckily there was a ram caught in a thicket nearby that we could easily slaughter, so we made our sacrifice and headed back down the mountain. Dad admitted that he couldn’t take all of the credit, because God came up with the initial idea. But man oh man, it’ll teach me not to mess with those two practical jokers!!! Though for a prank, he did seem oddly relieved. Anyway, that was the best camping trip ever.
Talk to you tomorrow diary! You’re my best friend…well besides my Dad!